Friday, October 19, 2012



Was in bed by 8:00pm last night
with the heating pad and a couple
tears from my eyes from the pain.
I am not one who likes to lay around.
I'm one who is up running around doing
things for the family.  I feel so helpless
at times feeling like I should be up doing
more but now are limited with what I can
do or get done when the pain strikes.
I do what I can but sometimes feel like a failure
because I should be doing much more.

No school today for Columbus due to
Capital Day.  I still got up at 6:30am to
see Tony off to work by 7:00am.
I've been so klutzy lately from not enough
arm strength that it's starting to upset me for the
messes I make.  Looks like something a 2 year old would do
but I can't help it and are trying so hard.
Last week it was spilling drinks and
the last two mornings in a row I have
knocked everything off my bedside stand
and this morning I was trying to get
my juice out of the fridge door and 
I think my arm gave out from shoulder pain
and somehow I knocked the whole freaking
shelf off.  I have a side-by-side fridge so
it's like a plastic bin in the door.
It's getting very frustrating!
Tony has seen how I haven't been able
to get around much with the pain the last two days
and thinks I should call and make a doctor's 
appointment.  What are they going to do?
Absolutely nothing!  I have been complaining
about the severe pain for about a year now
and they have done nothing for me!  NOTHING!!
I told doctors MANY MANY times that I don't care about
the ongoing diarrhea or stomach pain
associated with Crohn's, it's the joint pain that
is my number one problem and it's getting
unbearable to the point I can't walk or do
everyday normal things.  They never gave me
anything for it or told me what I could do
other than to take ibuprofen.
People with Crohn's should NOT take ibuprofen.
If you need to take anything it should be Tylenol!!
And of course Tylenol doesn't work very well
for chronic pain.  I don't know what else
to do other than to suffer through it all.
Pain can make you a mean person constantly
snapping at people.  I don't mean to.
  I want to be back to doing normal things!
I don't want to have to ask people for help
as I am the one who helps others!!
My gut instinct tells me the pain is not 
Crohn's but something else and the 
Crohn's causes it to flare up along side it.
I'm thinking more along the lines of
arthritis or fibromyalgia.  But that's
just my suspicion since the digestive doctor
doesn't address the situation about the joint pain
every time I tell him.  
I don't have the money for any more
specialists or tests!
I'll wait it out as usual.  I know it will clear
up and I'll have a time that will be without
pain before another flare up.
So for now I try to see to the future
hoping each time I get a flare up
it is only temporary. 
Tomorrow will be one week I've had this flare up.
I try to keep moving the best I can because
the more I move the more my joints loosen up.
If I stop to rest, sit or sleep, that's when
I become stiff again.


I thought the trees looked pretty this morning
against the dark sky in the West when
the sun was coming up.

AND SUNDAYS, 5:00 PM-10:00 PM
Gonna have to check this out at 7:30pm.
It streams live while people walk through
so you can see their scared faces.

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